Sailing. Not Sailing

Ok, not a sailing blog. I arrived home 5 days ago with lots of work to do and a Cape Town lurgy which obviously had ran out of victims in Cape Town and decided to hitch a ride to Northumberland, so give me a chance!

But since I’ve returned I’ve talked sailing (boring anyone who will listen), I’ve watched sailing (all the latest clipper videos, many times, especially the ones with me in them), I’ve spent time with sailing friends and I’m following sailing…well my boat Bermuda and team, but also the other friends and the other yachts in the race…

And I’m dreaming of sailing…but some dreams are a bit odd and some are a bit personal, so if you don’t mind I’ll keep them to myself.

And it’s pants. This being at home thing. I’m here and I’m not there. I’m not sailing. Following the race is addictive and it is also a form of mental torture.

Yes, it’s fabulous to see my family, and they were pleased to see me, (well ok, maybe not Adam, though to be fair backing my car into his pick up wasn’t the best start…though why did he have to park it so close behind me?) And it was fabulous to catch up with friends, and yes, even to get back to work on the farm.

Also it was fabulous, at long last, to climb on my horse Jimbop, and go for a gallop on the fell, both of us high as kites (why do I now picture the code 2 when I mention that word?) both of us out of control, both of us just loving flying at speed over the heather and the ditches with absolutely no cares.

Indescribable.

But it’s still not sailing. I wake up in the night groping for my life jacket and eager to start my watch. Then I realise I don’t have to get up, I’m in my own bed and theoretically I can sleep the sleep of a normal person.

The bed is stable, it doesn’t bounce, it’s very level, it doesn’t throw me from side to side, it has a top quality super comfortable memory foam mattress, it has the best 600 thread count Egyptian cotton bed linen, it has a super lightweight and warm goose down quilt, it has super soft silk pillowcases, it’s big enough I can stretch out starfish style, hey, why would I want to be anywhere else?

But I do. I crave to back on Bermuda, unwashed, in a cramped bunk, attempting to sleep fully clothed for a short three hours offwatch, in my damp sleeping bag while hanging on to the cave locker for dear life. And to make matters worse they’re in the Southern Ocean, I KNOW how bad it will be on board, I KNOW the sort of challenges they’re facing.

I received an email sent by satellite comms from a crew member last night and he confirmed it….just how bad it is! The new crew are all seasick, one watch of the three watches are ALL down! For the rest of them this will make a hard life so much harder. Not only are they having to work extra watches, both above and below deck, but they will be having to care for the sick crew and clean up after them. All this means even less sleep than normal, it also means that there are probably no bunks in which to sleep in anyway – they will be full of seasick people!

I know it, it’s the same on every race start. But it will be even worse this time, the southern ocean means even bigger seas, with no respite whatsoever.

And yet…I still feel I’m missing out…

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